Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other
In Alone Together, MIT technology and society professor Sherry Turkle explores the complex relationships between technology, intimacy, and solitude, revealing how our increasingly connected world can also lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, based on fifteen years of research and hundreds of interviews with children, teens, and adults.
Author:
Sherry Turkle
Published Year:
2017-01-01
First, let's look at the rise of "sociable robots" and the blurring lines between human and machine.
Turkle isn't anti-technology. She's pro-connection. She's concerned that we're increasingly turning to technology for comfort and companionship, expecting less from our human relationships, which are inherently messy and demanding.
It's easier to send a quick text than to have a difficult conversation. It's simpler to "like" a post than to truly engage with someone's feelings.
The book "Alone Together" argues that this convenience comes at a cost. We risk losing the ability to navigate the complexities of face-to-face interactions, to empathize, and to build truly meaningful connections.
The next time you find yourself reaching for your phone to avoid an awkward silence or a difficult emotion, pause. Ask yourself: Am I using technology as a substitute for genuine connection?
Next, let’s dive into the idea that constant connectivity can actually lead to a sense of isolation.
Turkle uses the phrase "always on" to describe our modern state. We're tethered to our devices, constantly checking emails, texts, and social media.
This constant state of connection creates the *illusion* of being present, but it often prevents us from truly engaging with our surroundings and the people around us.
This constant partial attention fragments our experiences. We're never fully *here* or *there*. This can lead to a feeling of being disconnected, even when we're surrounded by people.
The book "Alone Together" highlights how this fractured attention impacts our well-being and relationships.
Turkle suggests a simple but powerful practice: creating "sacred spaces" where technology is off-limits. This could be your bedroom, your dining table, or even a specific time of day.
Now, let's examine how our online interactions are shaping our sense of self.
Turkle argues that we often present curated versions of ourselves online, carefully crafting our profiles and posts to project a specific image.
We edit our photos, filter our thoughts, and strive for "likes" and validation. This can lead to a sense of performing, rather than genuinely connecting.
The constant pressure to present a perfect image can be exhausting, and it can make it harder to be vulnerable and authentic in our real-world relationships. "Alone Together" challenges us to examine the authenticity of our online personas.
Take a look at your social media profiles. Ask yourself: What image am I projecting? How does this compare to how I feel about myself?
Let's shift our focus to the impact of technology on our communication patterns.
Turkle observes that we're increasingly relying on text-based communication, even for important conversations. This can lead to misunderstandings and a loss of emotional nuance.
It's hard to tell without the cues of tone of voice and body language. "Alone Together" emphasizes the importance of non-verbal communication in fostering understanding.
This avoidance of face-to-face communication, she argues, is eroding our ability to navigate complex emotional situations.
If a conversation is important or emotionally charged, have it in person or, at the very least, over the phone. This allows for greater clarity and empathy.
Now, let's talk about practical applications.
Turkle advocates for a more mindful approach to technology. She encourages us to be more intentional about how we use our devices, to be more aware of the impact they have on our relationships and our well-being.
One tool she suggests is the "seven-minute rule." When you feel the urge to check your phone, wait seven minutes. Often, the urge will pass.
Another suggestion is to practice "unitasking." Instead of trying to juggle multiple tasks at once, focus on one thing at a time.
The book "Alone Together" provides a framework for developing a healthier relationship with technology, promoting mindful usage and intentional disconnection.
Set clear boundaries. Let your colleagues and friends know that you won't be available 24/7. Turn off notifications when you need to focus. Create technology-free zones in your home.
We live in an age of technological exhaustion.
We have invented inspiring and enhancing technologies, yet we have come to live in a society that is in many ways isolating and alienating.
Technology promises to let us do anything, but it also tends to isolate us.
We are increasingly connected to each other but feel increasingly alone.
Technology enables us to be always on, always connected, but it also makes us feel like we are never fully present.
We are drawn to technology that promises to give us more control, yet we often end up feeling more controlled.
The more we connect, the more we seem to isolate ourselves.
Technology can make us feel more connected, but it can also make us feel more alone.
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