A Book About Hope
From the author of the international mega-bestseller The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck comes a counterintuitive guide to the problems of hope.
Author:
Mark Manson
Published Year:
2019-05-14
First, let's look at how our Thinking Brain and Feeling Brain work together, and sometimes against each other.
Manson introduces the idea of two "brains" – not literally, of course, but as a way to understand our internal conflicts. The Feeling Brain is impulsive, driven by emotions and immediate gratification. The Thinking Brain is rational, logical, and focused on long-term goals.
When something bad happens, like losing a job, our Thinking Brain constructs a story to explain it. "My boss was unfair! I was loyal! I deserved better!" These narratives become sticky, clinging to our identities.
Manson suggests that we need to consciously craft new narratives, stories that serve us better. He calls this the "illusion of self-control." It's not about forcing ourselves to do things we hate, but about creating stories that make those things feel meaningful.
If you want to start exercising regularly, don't just tell yourself "I need to get in shape." That's boring. Instead, create a narrative. Maybe you're training to climb a mountain, or to be strong enough to play with your grandkids. Find a story that resonates with your Feeling Brain, a story that makes the effort feel worthwhile. This concept appears in the book "Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope".
Emo Newton sits alone in his dark room. Food rots near the door, he is working for weeks. He takes a paper and draws a circle.
He draws another circle, near the first. He draws lines of tension between the edges of each circle, where gravity pulls in both directions.
He thinks about how values form. He remembers he used to be carefree. He would do anything. He was a master of his own fate. He remembers the day when he decided to be a scientist. He felt that he had to be serious about everything.
Our values aren't just random preferences. They're deeply connected to our emotional experiences and the stories we tell ourselves. Understanding this "emotional gravity" helps us understand why we connect with certain people and clash with others.
Manson isn't saying that emotions are bad. He's saying that they need to be balanced with reason. The person who denies their Feeling Brain becomes numb and indifferent, unable to find meaning in anything. The person who denies their Thinking Brain becomes impulsive and selfish, constantly chasing fleeting pleasures that never truly satisfy. This is a key concept explored in "Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope".
Next, let’s explore Newton’s Laws of Emotion.
Newton's First Law of Emotion states: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite emotional reaction." This means that any change, any attempt to move away from our current emotional state, will be met with resistance.
Newton's Second Law of Emotion is: "Our self-worth equals the sum of our emotions over time." This is a powerful idea. It suggests that our sense of identity, of who we are, is built upon the accumulation of our emotional experiences.
Newton’s third law says that, “We are all equally wrong about everything, even though we are wrong about different things and in different ways.”
The implication here is profound. It's not about suppressing our emotions, but about understanding their origins and choosing how we respond to them. It's about recognizing that our emotional reactions are often based on outdated narratives and that we have the power to create new ones. The book "Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope" delves into these concepts.
Now, let's delve into a particularly provocative section of the book: "How to Start Your Own Religion."
This is how cults and manipulative ideologies are formed. They offer certainty in a world of uncertainty, belonging in a world of isolation, and purpose in a world that often feels meaningless.
The point here isn't to encourage you to start a cult, but to make you aware of the mechanisms that make these systems so appealing. It's about recognizing the human need for hope and meaning, and the ways in which that need can be exploited.
Manson argues that we all, to some extent, create our own "religions." We develop belief systems, rituals, and communities around the things we value most. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's how we find meaning and purpose. But it becomes problematic when our "religions" become rigid, dogmatic, and intolerant of other perspectives. "Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope" discusses this in detail.
You need to promise something, and you need to be vague. You need to say, "I have the secret to ultimate happiness." You have to say that only you have the answer.
You have to create an us versus them. You have to say that anyone who criticizes us is one of them.
Finally, let's talk about the maturity crisis.
Manson argues that our culture is becoming increasingly immature, characterized by a focus on immediate gratification, a lack of personal responsibility, and a resistance to compromise.
He points to the rise of social media, with its emphasis on outrage and instant validation, as a contributing factor. He also criticizes the self-help industry, which often promotes unrealistic expectations and encourages a focus on personal happiness above all else.
The political schism in the twenty-first century is no longer right versus left, but the impulsive childish values of the right and left versus the compromising adult values of both the right and left. It’s no longer a debate of communism versus capitalism or freedom versus equality but, rather, of maturity versus immaturity, of means versus ends.
The solution, Manson suggests, is a return to mature values: responsibility, resilience, humility, and a willingness to engage in difficult conversations. It's about recognizing that life is inherently challenging, that pain is unavoidable, and that true meaning comes from embracing those challenges rather than trying to escape them. "Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope" provides a framework for this.
In essence, **"Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope"** is for readers who are willing to confront uncomfortable truths about themselves and the world, and who are seeking a more authentic and meaningful way to live, even when **"Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope"**.
Hope is what we believe to be greater than ourselves. Without it, we believe in nothing.
The only logical way to improve the world is through improving ourselves.
Everything worth pursuing in life is going to require some sacrifice.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
The only true form of freedom, the only ethical form of freedom, is through self-limitation.
Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.
The only way to be truly happy is to be okay with not being happy all the time.
We are defined by what we choose to reject. And if we reject nothing, we essentially have no identity at all.
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