How to Get Out There When You'd Rather Stay Home
The Wall Street Journal bestseller—reassuring and practical advice for how introverts and the anxiety-prone can succeed at work and in life without compromising who they are.
Author:
Morra Aarons-Mele
Published Year:
2018-06-12
First, let's look at embracing your introverted nature.
"First, let's look at embracing your introverted nature." Aarons-Mele starts by debunking the myth that success requires constant extroversion. It's not about changing who are, but about working *with* your personality, not against it. "Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert's Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You'd Rather Stay Home)" encourages you to understand and accept your introverted tendencies. For example, the author shares her own experiences of feeling overwhelmed by large social gatherings. She learned to identify her energy triggers and create a work life that respected her need for quiet time. This might mean scheduling meetings strategically, taking breaks to recharge, or finding alternative ways to network. You can start embracing your introversion by identifying your energy drains and boosters. Make a list of things that drain you and energize you, then adjust your schedule. "Hiding in the Bathroom" offers a practical approach. Embracing your introversion is key to leveraging your strengths, as discussed in "Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert's Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You'd Rather Stay Home).".
Second, let's explore the power of setting boundaries.
"Second, let's explore the power of setting boundaries." This is crucial for introverts. Aarons-Mele emphasizes that saying "no" is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of self-respect. "Hiding in the Bathroom" shares a story about the author declining a conference invitation. She realized prioritizing her well-being was important. Saying "no" creates space for you to say "yes" to things that align with your goals. Setting boundaries, as mentioned in "Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert's Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You'd Rather Stay Home)", helps protect your time and energy. Practice your "no" responses. Have phrases ready, such as, "Thank you, but I'm not able to take on new commitments." Setting boundaries isn't just about external requests, but also internal ones. Limit social media, set work hours, or create a dedicated workspace. "Hiding in the Bathroom" emphasizes the importance of holistic boundary setting.
Third, let's delve into time management.
"Third, let's delve into time management." Aarons-Mele emphasizes that introverts often thrive on structure and routine. Having a clear plan can minimize decision fatigue and maximize productivity. "Hiding in the Bathroom" introduces "appropriate effort," doing things well without emotional investment or perfectionism. Find balance between striving for excellence and avoiding burnout. Focus on key messages, not every detail. Make a list of your top three priorities each day, as suggested in "Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert's Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You'd Rather Stay Home)". Focus on these before less important items. This helps you stay focused. The book, "Hiding in the Bathroom", highlights that the most productive people feel a sense of autonomy and control over their work lives.
Fourth, the book tackles the often-dreaded topic of self-promotion.
"Fourth, the book tackles the often-dreaded topic of self-promotion." Many introverts find it uncomfortable. Aarons-Mele suggests it doesn't have to be about bragging. It can be about sharing your expertise authentically. "Hiding in the Bathroom" introduces "owning your expertise," being clear about your skills and value. Develop a concise "pitch": "Hello, my name is ______. I am an expert in ______. Because ______." Avoid qualifiers like "I think," as advised in "Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert's Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You'd Rather Stay Home)". Be declarative. For example, "I'm a marketing expert with over ten years of experience." Reflect on your skills and accomplishments. What are you good at? What problems can you solve? Practice sharing your expertise confidently, as recommended in "Hiding in the Bathroom".
Fifth, let's discuss managing anxiety.
"Fifth, let's discuss managing anxiety." The book acknowledges introverts are often prone to anxiety. Aarons-Mele shares her struggles and offers strategies. One key strategy from "Hiding in the Bathroom" is to identify your anxiety triggers. Develop coping mechanisms: deep breathing, mindfulness, or stepping away. "Hiding in the Bathroom: An Introvert's Roadmap to Getting Out There (When You'd Rather Stay Home)" emphasizes self-care. Prioritize relaxing activities: nature, reading, music. Get enough sleep, eat healthy, and exercise. Create "pockets of introversion," even in extroverted environments, as suggested in "Hiding in the Bathroom". Find quiet spaces, take breaks, or use headphones. Communicate your needs to colleagues. The book, "Hiding in the Bathroom", offers practical tools like a worksheet for collaborative negotiations and a scope chart for project management, which are very helpful.
I don't want to be a burden. I want to be helpful. I want to be needed. But I don't know how to do that anymore. I'm not sure I ever did.
It's like I'm trapped in a glass box. I can see the world outside, but I can't touch it. I can't be a part of it.
I used to be someone. I used to matter. Now I'm just...this.
The silence is the worst part. It's like a constant reminder of everything I've lost.
I miss the feeling of being connected to something, to someone. I miss feeling like I belong.
I'm so tired of pretending. Tired of smiling when all I want to do is scream.
I just want to feel something again. Anything. Even pain would be better than this emptiness.
Maybe this is all there is. Maybe this is all I'll ever be.
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